The "Glee" episode I'd like to see

I have to admit I’m not a fan of the show Glee.  I’ve seen a few episodes, and while there is talent in the cast (this is the show that got Jane Lynch much-overdue mainstream recognition) and I admire them for putting certain issues in the forefront, the simple problem I have with the show is that it’s just not very good.  The writing is inconsistent, the characters aren’t particularly likable (which is more a problem if it’s not deliberate), and the whole thing seems like it only exists to move compilations of cover versions of songs.

I was thinking, though, it would be entertaining to see those kids do some music that’s so horrifically inappropriate for a high school environment.   But at the same time, it has to fit the Glee aesthetic.  It wouldn’t work with covers of death metal.  But what band fits the melodic aesthetic the show has while having incredibly dark, inappropriate-for-school lyrics and subject matter?

The answer is clear: Steely Dan.

But they wouldn’t stick to “Do It Again”.  Too easy.  ”Rikki Don’t Lose That Number” is a cop-out.  ”Any World (That I’m Welcome To)” would actually be thematically appropriate for the show, but not any fun.  No.  I want the songs that Sue Sylvester could use as ammo to gave the Glee club shut down once and for all:

• Time Out Of Mind: A smooth, mellow bit of upbeat jazz-pop about smoking heroin (“Tonight when I chase the dragon…”)
• Everyone’s Gone To The Movies: The song’s movie-screener Mr. LaPage is not someone you want around your children.
• Everything You Did: An infidelity song that takes a disturbing turn by changing a verb in one of the lyrics.
• Peg: Porn!
• Kid Charlemagne: The Owsley Stanley song (more drugs!)
• Chain Lightning: I’m not going to spoil it for you.  Look it up.
• Gaslighting Abbie: Fun with psychological abuse!

The episode ends with all the students expelled and Mr. Shu being led out of the building in handcuffs.

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